What they don’t tell you about Pregnancy: The Last Month

English: pregnancy at 8th month

English: pregnancy at 8th month (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m right at the end of my second pregnancy and the days are going by slower than molasses!  Not only am I as big as a house, I’m also horribly uncomfortable.  I keep joking around that I’ve turned into a turtle, because whenever I try to get up from lying down, I’m like a turtle stuck on it’s shell.  I have to rock for a while before I gain enough momentum to heave myself into a semi-upright position.

I’m also hot ALL THE TIME!  I have been freezing my family at night with the air conditioning, but they go along with it without much complaint.  They would rather add a few more blankets and layers of clothing than deal with me being cranky from lack of sleep.  They might be a little afraid of me at this point, I’m a tad hormonal.

Speaking of hormonal, my skin is insanely broken out (and not just on my face) to the point where I feel like I look like  leopard.  It is really disgusting and annoying and I’m miserable.  All of the zits just add to the fact that my nose is huge and my face is super round from all of the swelling.  I am ready to get this show on the road!

I’ve been reading up on ways to get labor started naturally, but not a whole lot of them seem to actually work.  We’ve been riding up and down bumpy roads (even through fields in a golf cart), making whoopee, and taking long walks.  I even purchased Evening Primrose Oil and proceeded to stick it up my hoo-ha in hopes that may get something started.  No such luck.

At this point I am considering the big CO, Castor Oil.  I tried it during my last pregnancy and it didn’t do anything.  Nothing.  No shits or contractions or anything!  It just tasted really, really gross.  I keep reading how other women have tried it and have had success, so I’m wondering if maybe I just didn’t do it right last time.  The whole idea of being stuck on the toilet for hours at a time doesn’t sound appealing, but I’m done with this whole being pregnant thing!  Plus, I heard that if you take it and do manage to clean out your colon, you usually don’t poop on the table during labor.  Bonus!

Anyway, this is taking forever and I’m sick of being preggo.  I want to meet my little girl!

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